January 3rd, 2014

iconz by rouk

(no subject)

Good morning! Still an adjustment to open the Lj app to write instead of the fb one. I realize now that Lj is good for writing my personal stuff but if I have a question or a problem with anything I need answered then this is not the place for that anymore because this place is like a ghost town, which I like for writing purposes. But not good for interaction, but that's ok cause I'm wanting it a little slower these days anyway. What is great about Lj now is it seems that all the narcissistic "attention whores" have left because there is no one to pay attention to them here anymore and make flame wars that go on and on and on. Although I suppose they are in the ontd community. I'll stay out of there.

So what is going on. I need coffee that is what. So I will stop here for a sec while I oh attend to that. It's ask I frickin cold here. 7 degrees F, for the record, so I can look back on this and compare years (something which is impossible to do in fb which is one of the many reasons I left there)

iconz by rouk

Well then....

So lj will disconnect from twitter if my Lj posts are over 140 characters? That is stupid. wtf Lj.

In other news I am feeling very cozy in this ghost town. As long as my friend patrick Coleman is here I'm good to go! Cakes to be baked!

Also I am noticing a lot less crap in my head from being off fb. Since I check my feed less often I become less aggravated and enraged and utter links to utter bullshit people over share over there. No more ZOMG! This and that and no more Lists from buzzfeed about the 12 top things I didn't know about something. It's just awesome having this much more space in my head for other things.

I tried to show my therapist my video I made "the Dislodger" . She was patient but flummoxed. Not her thing. Well you have to watch it all the way through in headphones kind if in a zoning out mood. That is the way to take in my videos. You have to allow yourself to zone in and out of them like a dream. They are also good to just play in the background as ambience that once in awhile will jar you into a wtf moment. So it's like the are ambient videos with jarring moments so you can't ever get too comfortable. Good for working on things if you need something calming in the background but also something from keeping you from completely falling asleep.

They are shamanic videos. Their meanings reveal themselves to be later. They are made by pure intuition and "beautiful accidents" . I'm really excited about thus new genre I think I am creating here. A genre if shamanic videos but also ambient that reveal hidden things and DISLODGE things from you. Things you didn't even know needed dislodging.

Dislodger at your service.

iconz by rouk

Deconstruct and dislodge

Oh heck yes....


This. This times a billion and 4. Inspiring! I swear to god this man is my twin or something. We are laughing so much on the haunted spaceship. I am so happy right now :) I am finding my tribe again.

iconz by rouk

A new sense of fucking purpose

I feel a new sense of fucking purpose.
Actually it is not new but renew. I am remembering what it was I was trying to do before I got completely and utterly off track first from the major label recording industry biz and all the wretched shit that trails after that, like interviews with people who could give a shit about your new record and have a deadline. A deadline. Give that some thought. A fucking dead line people. People are living for dead lines. Does that make any sense? No it does the fuck not.

I remember how I used to be in the cake and eat it days, and I can't go back there not would u want to. But I do miss living in that godforsaken attic with the 22 walls.

But yes I remember now. And my fear, for now, is gone. The fear of having an audience the fear of not having one. I really understand now that the things I make I make for me and that is all I need. And since all us one and I am "god" (all of is are) then I "get" my art for all of you/us. And "we" are amused greatly.

Also as of this moment I feel no need to either fear explaining my art. Nor not explaining it. Either one is fine and I'll just explain or not explain as I feel like. It's that simple. Explanations or no explanations don't make or break anything. Because, for one thing, people are going to think what they want and like or not like what they want despite any explanations that go with. Every time I try to explain something (iPod wanted to change that to "echo aim" :) no one understands a damn thing I say except me. And that's fine. Because we are getting it here and nodding our heads here going oh ya oh ya that's totally IT.

And so because of this, I know I am back again on MY "stomping ground". And so let the rain dances begin.

I am adding this photo because it's sitting on my iPod doing nothing so u may as well set it down here.

LOOK said the K-ing:
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The content owner

This crap drives me nuts. I am the content owner. Although no one really is. And that is what true art is. No one owns it so cut and paste away my little pirates. Also you Can watch this on a mobile on my Vimeo channel. Vimeo is the place to be and YouTube is a second hand thought. It's so totally on it's way out the door and is in such denial about it is wild to watch. They won't get it until the door slams shut and then the crocodile years start like all my past boyfriends I broke up with because they took me for granted. They don't get it until the door is well and truly shut. It is a puzzler to me. But that's their shit to work out. Still, it puzzles me. But I can't get too hooked into analyzing that anymore. It's like gravity. I don't know why it works that way but I know it does. If something works and you don't know why it actually doesn't exist yet. That is how the narcissists work I've noticed.

Like astrology. It works yet there are still those who deny it does even tho the apple continues to fall from the tree irregardless of their head being in the way between it and the ground.

Anyway. The Dislodger. Let me get that shit out of your eye, honey, or you've just made that cyclops thing work for you right? I have to say that us indeed a "work around". Bravo.

iconz by rouk

imbed figured out


"Published on Jan 2, 2014
i struggle for coherency, clarity and order in a world fraught with lighthearted goodness, mundane reality, motherhood, the verge of falling asleep, the upbeat disconnected world of social media and it's punishing clutch on jarring jingles, selfies and a clusterlike of memes. i dare you to endure this video and let it move through you like water. a new type of ambient film using the cut up technique with cheesy ipod apps only. a modern western from one woman's point of view. i upload this in the few minutes i have between getting my children ready for school, winding down and trying to synch my ipod to itunes and it giving me some unknown hellish error, trying to figure out just how the sharing thing works with itunes (unknown), where did my bloody valentine mp3s go? and now oops, it's almost time for everyone to come home from school and wtf did i do? i jumped up on an altar with a t shirt written on it "I AM GOD", in my mind, then went to hide in my closet to document my clothes in a blurry way for no reason at all except that i had had a bit too much cheap champagne on new year's eve. time to unload the dishwasher. do you like my new hair colour? how was your day?"
iconz by rouk


you know it's cold when in MINNESOTA they cancel school on monday because it's TOO COLD.
and this is minnesota people. the place where they still make your kids go out for recess if it is 1 degree above zero F.
that's right.


i don't even know why this image is here. i decided to randomly click on my computer folders and pic an image and i clocked on my folder called "anacam" and this is all that was in it.

iconz by rouk

old haunts

you have to be kidding me.
i did a google search on my name and the word google because i was too lazy to find my own google plus account and the FIRST thing that came up was ye olde NEWSGROUP alt.fan.ana-voog

remember newsgroups???
well apparently they are still alive in this form (and maybe their original form too i have no idea)
i was just thinking awhile back that it's so great that alt.fan.ana-voog is probably fine gone off the internet,

but NO, here it is. it's still here:
it's unreal.

i wonder if i can access ye olde posts from long long long ago.
this was the place to go if you hated my guts.
a lot was said about me here that was pretty stupid and also some things that i found to be bone chilling and violent.

maybe it's good to find this place again. i never saved any of the emails i used to get back then.
and i've deleted all the LJ posts from that era (archived in ana2 but without the comments)
so all the hullaballoo around it all is basically lost as to how wild it used to get.

well, gee, goog, thanks for memories.

it's true i really do haunt the internet. or the internet haunts me.

as with us all. interesting.

oh man, i was doing a google image search to see if i could try to find this webcam pic that says "when i die i will haunt the internet" and i found this instead:


it used to be a geocities site....now renamed reocities!

this was the "meme" of the day back then "ate my balls" websites.

so this was one made for me. LOL. oh i love it. this makes me happy actually :)


oh yep! i went into the newsgroup and it did not take me long to find what i had to deal with on a daily basis because of my cam. and just because i am a woman, in general. this is one of the reasons why i have PTSD.


you may think. oh....that was so long ago can't you let it go?
well fuck no apparently not is the answer. i'm not a forgiver.
so until this happens to you on a day to day basis for all your life pretty much please STFU.

that is all.

sorry to get all negative here. but this was my life and i am always unfolding it from another angle because this shit is hard to muck your way through and i'm doing the best i can. which is pretty damn good, i must say.

"cake and eat it" two on it's way....

until then:

iconz by rouk

Zomg new haunts!!!

Was just in my 1st ever one on one video chat with patrick on google plus hangouts. In the iPod! That was so totally future and Star Trek and quaint at the same time! Violet was there too hamming it up. At 1st she was all shy throwing herself into the bed face first then she got all into it. I swear she is going to be a fish to water with this stuff. I gotta watch out for sure! Who can even know what the technology will be when she is my age. Mind boggling. Old grandma Voog here talking on ye olde intranebz just a minute ago saying remember newsgroups??? Now this. I am on a frickin tiny flat screen in my hand and WIRELESS (how many times I tripped over cords man I had so many bruises) little device thing and I can call people WITHOUT A TELEPHONE and with video and wow this is so cool. It's true this intranebz is the new telephone. Just don't make me get a cell phone because I seriously hate those. But THIS is awesome. I can get into a video phone thing with people. I am ON IT!!!!

Ok gotta get ready for the 1st run of Haunted Spaceship which we are going to be creating on the fly in google hangouts in 2 hours.

I gotta gets me sum threads and lipstick on y'all.

Here is a photo of me I took with this app that creates to images. I look crabby as heck here. But I'm not. That is one thing that sucks about getting older is that you can look cranky when you are not if the lighting isn't just right....which it almost never is....and so u look cranky as fuck.

I'm sticking it here because, again, it's in my iPod and so I may as well put it here. It's like my cam but in slow motion. Here is me from several hours ago instead of here is me from 30 seconds ago. Oooooo....but google hangouts. (And they save all your conversations for all of time! Thanks goog!!) archiving made EZ.