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trance missions

from thee ana m0thership

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iconz by rouk
i am stupidly in love with "the buh" :)
her sweet smells, her little soft parts, her funny sounds.
everything she does completely fascinates me and i watch her constantly with amazement.
it is weird to think that i could never go back to the way things were before..even theoretically if i could go back to a time she did not exist, i could not handle life without her now that i know she is possible.
my life would not be as full without her. the smell and sound and feel of her are permanently part of me now. part of my soul, this earth, my experience, this life.
i could never go back to how things were.
my life will never be the same.
my entire being will never be the same.
i have taken the step through through the portal, the looking glass.
i am on the other side now and there is nowhere else i'd like to be.
i knew i would love her more than anything, but to be here really experiencing this love now is intoxicating. i am the mama cat. the ana mothership has finally arrived.


ooo, m and i came up with cool new life plans tonight :)
i hope we can make it work!
if we can, our lives and of course then anacam and ana2 will go in a new exciting direction :)
it involves traveling around the country in a van with a mobilecam. (girlreinvented i need to get your knowledge on this!)
the traveling voog family!
ooo i want it to work so much!
new things! new things to take photos of! new adventures!
(and maybe making a buh #2 :)

what a nice thing to read :)

from what i can tell they get even more fun when they start obviously "figuring things out". It's hilarious when they discover they can do something...like my mom told me that babies have to learn how to let go of things. no problems grabbing them but then...so then it's like of course flinging everything and it's the best thing ever. at least that's what i did ;-)

I love when babies figure out that their feet belong to them. "Hey, look, I can move those things! What fun!"

fascinating! come to seattle!!!!!!!!! you can always crash at my place if you need to also!

Who is "the buh"
If it not a secret)))

hopefully that was a joke... or you're new here..

but if not... and you're serious..

she's talking about Lili... her precious babyyy!!

Welcome to the stupidly in love club, Ana! We are never the same once we have a child, no way, no how.

Congratulations on becoming a mother, Ana. I wanted to leave my congrats some while back, but life here has been nutty. Loving the new mama entries!

everything in this post sounds so wonderful :^) I am so happy for you! Lili is amazing.

you are taking the whole gigantic life transition so much better than i did/do. i love my boy and my life with him but i still miss my old life that will never be again. it was a very good life. my life now is very good too but very much harder than that other easy street.
i am soooooooooooo happy that you are soooooooooooooooo happy :)
it is stunning to see a whole person unfold before you. someone who is deeply a part of you. and to see what comes from you too.
such love.

Fuzzy said everything I was gonna say. Exactly.

love you!

i love your thoughts. i sound creepy, i know. but i do. it is as if you can articulate things that i feel but do not explain properly.

Funny, ain't it? I developed amnesia of what came before the moment Nora arrived. I feel like she's always been with me.

Speaking of babies figuring out stuff... I was at a meetup of moms on Monday and one of the babies - she was 10 months old or so - was very, very interested in her feet. She was this chubby, quiet little thing who would get a little upset about something and then grab her foot and get it almost to her mouth and she'd then be perfectly calm. It's going to be great watching them figure themselves out.

Oooh, so exciting! Chris and I have talked about doing that... on the road in a camper trailer with cams and a 3G data connection... I can see you doing such incredible things!

ooo :) maybe you could help me with a set up?
would you do that? some pointers?
i am totally mystified about where to begin!

you sound like a new person. :)
good luck with all your plans!
i'm excited for you! :D

i am so so so happy for you!!!! :) :) :)

Does this buh love bring you the knowledge that you were and are buh to your own parents, and M to his, and your parents and his were buh to all your grandparents, and so on and so on? I always keep that in mind, that every single person on this earth is a buh to their ancestors, and that when my mom looks at me, she sees a grown up woman, but she also sees the little baby kicking feet who gurgles and who belongs entirely to her body.

ok seriously that is the neatest thing i have read in a long time. i do sometimes think about that vaguely, but never like how you put that. i think that one is gonna stick with me... :')

i have a nice pic of my mom holding me at about a month old that i love, and then sometimes i look at her and i'm like "i lived IN you! you and dad made me!" then i get sad because they are divorced! lol

ok i need to go do something really non-deep now ;-)

ah sounds like a great and fun thing!!!!!!

do you remember when the monks were riding around, doing their thing? :)
love this

the thought of you all riding around just tickles me!