i am excited and nervous!
i'm supposed to drink about 32 oz of liquid before it happens.
i don't know if that will be physically possible for me to do!
i hope everything checks up ok!
and maybe tomorrow i will know closer as to whether or not it is a boy or a girl?
eeee! i am SO CURIOUS but mostly i just want to know it is developing normally and is healthy.
i so much want to know that!
i will post a photos of the ultrasound so you can see!
i can't believe i will see "matoog" MOVE!
i am going to "see' right into my belly!
my mom, M, and my midwife (me and matoog!) will be there.
a day of things starting with m :)
i am nervous!
keep your fingers crossed for us and send us good juju!
it's all i can think about.
today i am just trying to keep myself occupied by watching tv, resting, typing nervously, ohhhhhhhm.
i burn candles and incense.
it's grey and coldish today.
the other day it was freakishly warm.
here is the 1st video we have made for our little "matoog"
m and i walked to the river, i had a terrible cold and i sound like i am 7 years old!
(why did it choose THAT still from it? lol :) m is chewing gum :)
i am finally over my cold but it really kicked my ass there for a good week.
i'm just now recovering and getting back to normal.
but even "normal" isn't very normal for me now.
matoog squirms in me more and more, tickling my cervix and sides of my belly.
the newest form of entertainment is watching my belly actually MOVE!
it's like a science fiction movie.
sometimes i have a freak out melt down session about it as i realize that the impending day where it will have to squeeze out of tiny hole in me is coming up faster and faster. i go HOW CAN I DO THIS OH MY GOD???!!!!
but i have to breathe and cry and just flip out and realize that it's going to happen and i can only trust in the grace of my body and the universe that it will all work out. i do not have a huge tolerance for physical pain, but i hope to rise to the occasion, somehow, when that moment arrives. and M helps me and soothes me and reassures me. he is my love :) i am not alone :)
it's hard to imagine i will soon be holding a mini human being and my body will be making MILK!
will the dogs think it is a new puppy?
i had an interview with jornal do brasil today about my cam, and i'll let you know when that comes out.