trance missions

pooka

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:38:45 GMT

for those of you who followed my cam and got to know my dog pooka, i just wanted to let you know that a few minutes ago , he died a peaceful death. he was 13 years old.
the fluff monster poofin hoover is an angel now.

i'm just sitting here in shock and feeling shaky.

elaine just told me. she has been his caretaker for the past 2 years.
he died in her arms.

i loved that little guy. what a tender heart.
a gentle being of light.

anacam's 12th ana-versary!

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 13:07:34 GMT

today is anacam's 12th ana-versary and the last day the cam will be on 24 hours a day. 12 years at 24/7. holy cow! that's enough!

we got the house!

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:22:25 GMT

they accepted our offer!
to the country we go!

LAST TIME EVER to gain entrance to ana2!

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:46:34 GMT

i am going to shut down the business aspect of anacam.
so if you want into ana2 this will be the LAST TIME you will be able
to gain entrance to it!

sign up now at:
http://www.ana2.com
for a one time only LIFETIME membership to ana2.

(when you sign up for ana2 it will say that it is month by month..but
ignore that. it is not the case. you will be only charged one time and
then never again)

in a few weeks, you will NEVER be able to get into ana2 ever again.
whoever gets in now gets in and then that is IT.
the doors will be shut.
THIS IS IT!

so sign up now for ana2 (you will never be charged again)
or forever be on the outside.

i may even shut down the public aspect of the cam and just have the
cam inside ana2.

i'm going smaller and simpler and moving to the country :)

in other news, we put in an offer on a house...and now i am just in
the nail biting waiting phase to see if they accepted the offer!
wish me luck!

cheers,
ana

blip

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:39:42 GMT

http://blip.fm/voog

ooo, a new thing to play with :)

twitter

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:43:57 GMT

http://twitter.com/voog

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:23:56 GMT

violet luna
born february 8th at 11:43pm
7 pounds 13 ounces
20 inches long

a 26 hour labour!
details later
recovering!

WATER JUST BROKE

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 03:50:39 GMT

THIS IS M EVERYBODY __ ANA"S WATER' JUST BROKE -- WISH US LUCK!!!!!!

R.I.P. Emmett

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:39:25 GMT

emmettsl

i don't know how many of you remember Emmett.
but he was a member of ana2 for almost the entire time.
i would always wish him a happy birthday on cam.
he was a very sweet person.

i just found out that he passed away this year....

i feel so completely odd and at a loss for what to say
and what a weird way to find out.

i feel very sad but i am glad he is in a more peaceful place.

the last email he wrote to me he told me he was not feeling very well...

wow....

11 years

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:13:08 GMT

today is anacam's 11th ana-versary

http://www.anacam.com

unlike most cams, this one goes to 11 :)

i am trying to find the time to write about it!

crazy times!

interview

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:36:10 GMT

http://worshiptheglitch.com/2008/06/jd-casten-discusses-ana-voog-dreaming.html

an interview with j.d. casten who put together the book about my art (http://www.voogbooks.com/).
it's interesting for me to see my friend talk about his views on the whole project :)
i've been so busy with lili, the upcoming wedding, and now the new pregnancy that i can barely take it all in...

but for those of you interested in this limited edition book about me, i suggest you read this interview for a more in depth view on it!

and j.d. is a fascinating person in his own right. i think someone should make a book about HIM! :)

dreaming on stage

Sat, 31 May 2008 15:27:56 GMT

http://www.voogbooks.com/

a book about me and my art that my friend, j.d. casten, put together!
go look!

2007, a year in mini photos

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 05:34:57 GMT

it was the best year of my life :)

cookbooks

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 01:14:31 GMT

i'm not a person to ever follow a recipe...but i want to learn new things.
so...i'd like to learn some things by reading some cookbooks and see how other people cook.

so tell me your favourite cookbooks of all time.

i'm especially looking for morroccan, greek, and french
also jewish and scandanavian.

but i'm really interested in just about everything.

so hit me with your best cookbooks so i can go check them out :)

p.s. i like cookbooks where you make EVERYTHING from scratch and where real ingredients are used not things like margarine or boullion cubes, etc.
i'm not interested in adding a can of this and that together and then voila. i'm not afraid of things that are labour intensive.

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 01:43:25 GMT

for the first time in my life i am not just a sex symbol, a mere shadow of what sex is about, but i am making love...and making love at the deep level that creates new life.

my body is not in it's best shape, but for the first time it is creates the source of nourishment for my child and gives pleasure to my man.

i am deeply fulfilled.
i feel purposeful and real.
neccessary and primal.
i am at my core.
my heart.

my life is full of love.
everything i give is returned to me a millionfold.

i walk around in my pajamas and make chicken soup.
he buys me daisies and kisses my eyes.
total comfort and trust.

this is what life is about for me.

lili is happy :)

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 18:38:27 GMT

from lilizuzu

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 02:11:33 GMT

photo by jason s. shapiro

a family of cats for halloween :)
lilizuzu is 3 months old now

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 01:50:10 GMT

*beams* :)

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:34:32 GMT

as you can see, i am still sleep deprived, because this cracks me up to no end!
especially because i have a voice that goes with this, and maybe i will have to record it for you.
actually there is a whole flash animation in my head that goes with this...monty python style.

today is my 1st day being all alone with her, as M has gone back to work.
i am a sad mama cat and i am nervous. (i also think i got my period today for the 1st time since pregnancy)
lili, printheth of thee unicornth, child of go, rules me from her command center...the white noise midi file spewing graco swing.
i am her loyal subject, milk maker, and toe kisser

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 04:47:01 GMT

i am stupidly in love with "the buh" :)
her sweet smells, her little soft parts, her funny sounds.
everything she does completely fascinates me and i watch her constantly with amazement.
it is weird to think that i could never go back to the way things were before..even theoretically if i could go back to a time she did not exist, i could not handle life without her now that i know she is possible.
my life would not be as full without her. the smell and sound and feel of her are permanently part of me now. part of my soul, this earth, my experience, this life.
i could never go back to how things were.
my life will never be the same.
my entire being will never be the same.
i have taken the step through through the portal, the looking glass.
i am on the other side now and there is nowhere else i'd like to be.
i knew i would love her more than anything, but to be here really experiencing this love now is intoxicating. i am the mama cat. the ana mothership has finally arrived.

***

ooo, m and i came up with cool new life plans tonight :)
i hope we can make it work!
if we can, our lives and of course then anacam and ana2 will go in a new exciting direction :)
it involves traveling around the country in a van with a mobilecam. (girlreinvented i need to get your knowledge on this!)
the traveling voog family!
ooo i want it to work so much!
new things! new things to take photos of! new adventures!
(and maybe making a buh #2 :)

lili zuzu fidgets

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 23:02:14 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHY5clUgFIc

lili zuzu sleeps

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 06:43:50 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLwUH3l0E5Y

september's here again...

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 01:37:29 GMT

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 04:13:28 GMT

tomorrow we are going up to my dad's because on sunday he is going to baptize her (he is a lutheran minister in case anyone did not know)
he is really excited to be able to do this :)

i have much to say but i am so so sooo tired.
i will take pix of the baptism, of course, and put some up here after i get back :)

we bought an obscenely butt ugly graco baby swing today that plays nasty classical midi music and has "nature sounds" and vibrates and swings.
it is soooooo UGLY but we were desperate!
"The Buh" loves it so far and we hope it will calm her when she is in her spaz mode.

right now she is sitting in it like a little buddha having a dream.

irrational hormonal thoughts

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 19:59:02 GMT

about 2 weeks ago i started to have the most irrational thought.
this insane feeling that i wanted to be pregnant again ASAP!
i don't know if it is hormones, some sort of animal instinct thing, or a reaction to having, what i call, "empty belly syndrome".
i had months to get used to my belly becoming more and more pregnant but zero seconds to get used to have nothing in my belly at all.
i was not prepared to feel this way or prepared to deal with going from a huge belly to no belly.
i thought i'd be ecstactic to have my body back. to be able to look down and see my vagina again, to be able to bend over and tie my shoes, to be able to sleep on my back.
but instead i am faced with this feeling of loss, looking down, longing, on my linea negra and blown out belly button, running my hands up and down my belly where it once was tight and stretched and full of movement now to just feeling soft giving flesh.
i miss the kicks inside even tho now i get to touch her feet and feel them from the outside. it's nonsensical.
but it's more than this. it's more than just missing the belly. feeling like the queen bee.
at least i think so.
it's something deeper than this. it's something primal and seemingly irrational i tell myself.
i never even wanted one child let alone two.
i am sleep deprived and hallucinatory.
there is no way i could physically and emotionally deal with caring for a new baby as well as be pregnant at the same time.
or dealing with a new baby and a toddler at the same time.
plus knowing that my risks of having another child with down syndrome are very high, i would guess.
not that is a factor in my decisions. it wasn't before and it wouldn't be again and maybe this world needs more people with an extra chromosome.
here i am with the nagging lingering thought that will not leave...i want another child.
i even dream about it, begging M to "put another baby in me"
a compulsive urge beyond my understanding
lili needs a little brother, it says...lili NEEDS a little sister it screams
i must find a way to break this spell if possible, right?

a few more weeks of no sleep and poopy diapers from the "troll buh" will cure me of this, yes?