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ana

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Good morning :)
iconz by rouk
ana

Got Lili off to school. Xmas vacation done. Now I'm trying to keep myself awake for 45 minutes then wake up M and violet because I see my therapist (PTSD in case anyone missed that). Then go back home and get violet ready for nursery school. Then i have 3 hours to myself and I will probably fall on my bed and sleep or get all the videos off this iPod and upload them. I hope sleep cause I am painfully tired. I am trying to not resent the fact that I am back on a schedule that is set by an institution (school) and as soon as my children finally got the hang of sleeping in past 7am til actually 9am on some days, a far more reasonable time, now I have to get us all awake and try and get food in them and dressed and the whole thing.

Sleep is super important to me. It should be to everyone but for some reason, I guess because the crazy world drills in our head that we can sleep when we're dead, not many people give it value. That is tragic.

I get a lot done in my sleep. For one thing my body rejuvenates itself and for another I get a lot done in the dreamworld and work stuff out. And I can't stand not being able to sleep as much as my body and mind need and then wake up in my own time and reflect on the dreams I had. Because my dreams always tell me so much.

But I'll be damned if I can remember anything I dreamed last night waking up as abruptly as I have to do now. And this is how everyone is conditioned to stay "off course" being completely not in tune with the natural ebb and flow of things which is why, I truly believe, we do not have anything resembling sanity in this world.

So how to make use of such a dysfunctional society and illogical rythym having nothing to do with anything but an arbitrary clock time? I'm not sure. I fought long and hard to extricate myself from "the system" and I made a life for myself based on what I love to do, create, communicate, take bubble baths and sleep.

Me making me strange little videos on the iPod feels like a returning to something I know. Ok done with time to type. Was just starting to get in a groove but it's time to get ready to go to the next appointment.

More on how to deal with schedules and make dysfunction work FOR you later then.

And time to get a heck of a lot more coffee.

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The only dreams I usually remember are the ones I have when I fall asleep at my desk ... probably because I tend to wake up in the middle of them with them still playing in my head. My sleep tends to come in bits and pieces, part slumped over the keyboard, part (in the Laz-y-boy in the living room) with a book on my face, and part on a couch with the TV remote in my hand ... and occasionally actually in a bed.

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