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ana

trance missions

from thee ana m0thership


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barn
iconz by rouk
ana


thank you everyone for your birthday wishes :)

this is a photo of me and my pregnant belly in front of the barn that was my father's, grandfather's and great grandfathers.
the word "barn" also means "child" in norwegian, so i thought it was doubly fitting to take a photo of me in front of it on my birthday :)

the photo did not at all turn out the way i had envisioned it...not even CLOSE! but at least i did it.
i need a wide angle lense badly. i tried to do the panorama thing but , as you can see, i didn't do that well either.
but i guess the crookedness of it gives it a surreal factor. a sort of sense of it decaying and not being as real anymore.
also the exposure was all wrong because i keep forgetting how to use my camera and i have to go back and read the manual, and i just never do retain the information.
but here it is in it's imperfection.

i hadn't been to my grandpa's farm in decades. i guess since he died. although i had seen it about twice from the road.
the farm is deteriorating. the barn is peeling and not used, filled with trash and closed up, it seemed.
a little pony trots around it. i would have fed him an apple, but he disappeared before i could go fetch it.

grandma's house was painted grey instead of the white it always was. and was peeling considerably.
the roof looked very bad and some of the windows were boarded up.
a large family rents it now and they have accumulated PILES of trashy cars and odds and ends and scatterd it all over the yard.
it was sad. my grandma would have a fit if she were alive to see it.

but i still could see it all with rose coloured glasses. the places i would play as a child.
the hayloft, the soft purr and zing of the electric fence, the tire swing, the grove of trees, the rock pile, the little house, the smell of mold and hard candy,
the wild cats, the weeping willows, the scary cellar, the creak of the stairs, blind uncle bob by the radio, uncle joel by the phonograph, nancy upstairs sulking, grandpa at the table reading the paper once in awhile looking up at me to wink and say "hey, sweet patootie!" and grandma in the kitchen overcooking the green beans and baking ham and ricing potatoes.

all these things are alive and well inside of me :)

the barn is in me now.

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i like the photo you took...nice to see your curvey belly with life growing inside...and you are so small next to that huge beautiful barn. i like cracking paint texture. nice to see a far away shot...i do mostly close ups and i am starting to feel the urge for more expansive shots like that one you took.

thanks for sharing that. interesting family stories too. barn means child in norweigan? so cool! i am mostly norweigan but don't know much about the culture at all. i might go 2 norway this fall and explore it.

peaCe ana and i hope your birthday was lovely.
hugs, shannon

Gorgeous shot, Ana. And a happy belated birthday!

I have loved barns since I was a little girl. They're like a whole other world to me. I still love to play in them, dream in them. They're magical. This one is so beautiful.

LOVE the colors!
and see!! you're NOT big as a barn! ;)
sorry all my preg gf's complain they are so having an actual comparison photo is sorta funny.

That photo is amazing. I absolutely love it!

Congratulations! Thanks for sharing.

You did it! Great work! I know that it is disappointing to not get the photo just right but the crookedness works. It makes it seem less solid, like it will topple over any moment... and they are planning to tear it down, right? It is hard to find a place different from how you remember. Perhaps that is always the case, but too bad this family did not take better care. I hope that you write more about it. Perhaps give a little book to your child/family?

~~I remember playing alone in the backyard of my childhood home... the smells of damp mint and dry oak leaves... making up my own adventures and songs... shrinking myself down to the size of an insect.~~


(What state is this?) What other smells and sounds are there at this farm?

It's a really beatiful image! your hair looks great, by the way!
I'm glad you got to do what you had planned for your birthday!

happy birthday to you and all your loved ones too.

I like the way your picture came out. That barn has a lot of character. You'll treasure this shot more and more as time goes on, because it evokes not only memories of your own childhood, your grandparents and other relatives, but also depicts the next generation in your lineage coming into being. The picture has great family continuity in it. This was a fantastic idea for a picture. I hope you'll do an enlargement, frame it and hang it in a place of honor on your wall. Great work Ana!

Tusen takk for sharing it with us.

this is my favorite post ever. so sweetly revealing.

this has to be one of my favorite posts ever

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