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ana

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weird childhood "visions"
iconz by rouk
ana
did you ever see weird surreal things as a child that seemed like they should be in a dream or a nightnare yet you know you were totally awake when you saw it, and it was like something out of the movie beetleguise?

i saw 2 weird things that scared the living crap out of me.
my parents said i was just having a nightmare but i know i was awake.

the 1st thing i saw is what looked like toilet plungers on my wall of different lengths.
all suctioned to the wall and they were swaying back and forth at different speeds and each one had a round coloured knob at the end.
it was like something from a willie wonka dr. seuss nightmare.
i called them "the boing boings" and i had to sleep with the light on for a weak after that.

then another thing i saw was a huge iron box riveted together, about 4 feet tall. it was on wheels.
it was right next to my bed and it had a huge dark hole ripped in it and a bamboo pole came out of this hole and floated over my bed and then out my window. and on the pole hung different sizes of human skulls.

then it just disappeared.

i don't know how old i was when i saw these. maybe 8?

i've never seen anything like it since (thank god).
but i can't help but wondering to this day just what in the heck any of that was about.
and wondering if anything ever happened like this to you.

my brother used to see things he called "the dark men" and another type of being that he called 'the huh-huhs"
the huh huhs were ok, i think, and only came up to him and made these weird jerking movements will saying "huh-huh! huh-huh!"
but the darkmen were not good.

i never saw either of these.

i think i saw a ghost in that house, too.
and my mom said she saw the ghost of an indian in her room once.
it stood at the foot of her bed and there was like a great wind in the room.
when my mom woke up she said the drapes had blown off the rods in a weird way, even tho the window had been closed.

that was a weird house.
maybe it was the house.

still....i just have never known anyone to see things like multicoloured toilet plungers on their wall.
or anything like that, that is just so nonsensical.
and that metal box was so salvador dali.

and no i still do nto buy the "childhood imagination" thing or that "i was asleep" thing.
i know i was awake. i know the difference between being awake and not awake, even if i was a child.
and ya, i have a good imagination, but these were not out of my imagination, i can tell you that much.


One vision that I had several times was seeing a poofy haired black leaving my parents bedroom. Another thing that was summed as a dream but I know was real was that I used to be able to fly around the age of 5. I would do this pumping action with my arms out, like you when swimming under water to get to the surface faster. I only remember doing this twice. One time in kindergarten class and once in my living room.

oops, that was meant to say "poofy haired black CAT"!
Sorry, I didn't read over before posting.

OMG..
When I was a kid, I had similar things happen. I would get these vivid, random pictures in my head. It's hard to explain. They weren't visions of people or images I had seen before, and were too complex and bizarre to be just my imagination. Sometimes I wonder if they were visions from a past life, because it stopped when I was about 6... the age they say you really "forget" what happened before your current incarnation.

Woah, I didn't know six was the kind of designated or supposed age when this kind of childhood perception goes away. I think this is so interesting because I was watching my son so carefully for any signs that he could see ghosts or remember past lives, and it's true that he kind of turned more solid when he turned six. How strange.

I so believe children have access to things that we block out. I used to think it was because we're flawed and blocked, but now I'm beginning to think it's part of a perfect plan, that we aren't meant to perceive or understand some of this stuff, that it would be too much for us, and prevent us from being fully present in the moment, which may be why we get to come here, to be able to fully experience a liftime here in a body. I don't know. Just rambling.

Big hugs for you honey,
Jacqui

my only experience, that i can remember anyway, was when i was about 11 years old and in the middle of the night waking up and seeing a little gray alien standing in my doorway. which was a nightmare come true as i was terrified of aliens growing up. so maybe i manifested it? anyway i was suprised tho to see it wearing a little blue jump-suit, and it being about 3 feet tall -- i always imagined the "real" ones being very tall and willowy and unclothed. it just stood there while i was paralyzed with fear and i tried calling out to my Mom but i could barely get myself to peep out even the smallest sound. but then it just sank into the floor, like it was on an elevator going down. and it was gone, just like that. i was really terrified. but the odd feeling i get looking back on it, from the alien, was that it was curious about my fear. not remorseful about causing it, but curious in that it was pointless.

my mother came to see me all the time until I was about 12 years old or so ... I swear to god I was not dreaming, it was her, I just ... it was her!

(She died when I was 16 months old)

I believe you honey. I think that's wonderful! I'm sorry you lost your Mother when you were so young though. What a terrible blow.

I recently had a massage from a nice lady who told me that when she was a little girl there was a spirit who would come and sit at the bottom of the bed at night by her feet. She couldn't see her, but she could feel her, and she knew she was a benevolent spirit. She could also see a kind of dented spot when she was there sitting with her.

Cool hunh?

I bet your Mother is often with you, watching over you. And I really believe that you will be reunited with her when you leave this place.

Big hugs,
Jacqui

That reminds me a lot of Jim Woodring's situation.

I have had similar experiences, but it happened for a short amount of time in college, as opposed to childhood. As a child, I would have terrible night terrors, but they always, at least to my memory, were easily identifiable as dreams.

However, in college I had hallucinations when I would wake up. They were always terrifying. The first one I ever had, I woke up, and saw white smoke billowing out of the electrical outlet across the room. I sprang out of bed, flipped on the light, and screamed at my girlfriend to get out of the house, because there was an electrical fire. However, when I turned on the light, nothing was there. Another extremely vivid one I had was waking up and seeing this small child dressed in a bear suit. It was a full-face mask, so there really was no way to tell it was a child except by stature, but I was sure it was a little boy. When I saw him, he bared his fists at me and pumped them, in a "put up yer dukes" stance. The other times, I would wake up and see a quilt descending on me, attempting to smother me. I would notice the striking geometric shapes that were sewn into the quilt.

What I experienced is what as known as hypnopompic hallucinations. i.e. hallucinations that one experiences just as they wake up. The other kind is hypnagogic hallucinations, which is when you experience them just as you are going to sleep. Collectively, BOTH conditions are referred to as hypnogogic, however. A lot of times, they can be accompanied with sleep paralysis, but not always.

Wikipedia's blurb on hypnogogic hallucinations.

Oh, by the way, I'm not implying that this was the case with you, since I don't know the details of your situation. (i.e. when these happened in comparison to when you woke up or went to sleep.) But like you, I was quite awake when I had them. And like your situation, people kept trying to convince me I was dreaming. I was definitely NOT dreaming.

This Is My New Blythe Doll.

I think the reason you saw these things is because you are soooooooo sensitive and so creative that you are just naturally more open than other people. You're just a natural channel. You know what I mean? I think children have this profound ability to perceive things that we as adults don't get to experience, (unless we ingest something that helps lift the veil, or are meditating, or doing out of body work), and that societal pressure and stress kind of tamp these gifts out.

Or maybe it's just designed this way, that being able to perceive things that are really there, but hard to process, or make sense of, is kind of filtered out for us in order to make the experience of living here in a body easier somehow, or to help us be more present so we can fully experience this life right here and now. I think of life as this big learning experience, a kind of gift despite the suffering that makes us richer for it. I know people think this is crap idea, that life is harsh, random, cruel and not in any way as soft and woo woo as I want it to be. But how else can you explain these amazing experiences that children have? I believe you, children are exquisitely sensitive and fully capable of discerning the difference between a dream state and something quite apart from that.

I had hallucinations when I was little and I knew they were hallucinations. I have wonderful complex dreams and I know they are dreams. But if I say that I experienced something surreal, scary, and real for me, then it's real for me. I am honest and trustworthy. You are honest and trustworthy. I know you. If you say you saw it, I believe you, absolutely.

I wish I'd seen toilet plungers and Dali like boxes. I mostly heard things and then my imagination would run wild. The only thing I've ever seen, and I know I saw it even though it feels kind of faded and halucinatory now, was a floating light orb that was bouncing across the cars on the freeway. I have precognitive dreams, and I've always had serious dejavue.


Re: This Is My New Blythe Doll.

I was very tuned in and alert for Beau's having any kind of unusual experiences when he was small. He used to tell me the most amazing stories and only once did he admit that he'd made one of them up, that was the time he said he saw God walking on the freeway. I remember when he saw a spaceship landing on the golf course opening up and taking people aboard. He doesn't remember this any more. Oh and he was totally freaked out once when he thought a big scary bat came up to his bedroom window, yelled at him, and told him to go to bed. Some of these things can be explained away, and so many can't. I would rather believe that the world is wildly colorful and infinitely mysterious and exciting. I am really sorry for your little girl self and your brother though, sorry that you had experiences when you were little that scared you. I know what this feels like. I had so many nights when I was little where I couldn't sleep because I was sure there were monsters, devils, and covens of bad witches coming to get me. Thank God that life is merely stressful and scary in a way that I can sort of understand now, not terrifying, night-terrifying, like it used to be when I was small and felt so helpless and alone.

I'm up late trying to catch up on all of the many kind comments that people leave in my journal. I know I've said this so many times before, but I just don't know how you do it. Could it be because you don't have a hundred pets, a difficult demanding elderly parent, and a houseful of kids? Or is it just because I have this flighty mind and a solar chart that doesn't lend itself to the kind of sustained focus it takes to keep up with everyone?

Will you say hello to Jason and the pupsters for me. I'll say hello to Beau and my gang.

I love you honey-bear,
Jacqui

PS: My guy had a tooth pulled on Friday and was in a lot of pain but he took TWENTY Vicodins in just three days, he spent the weekend sleeping, and reluctantly showed up tonight with dozens and dozens of scabbed up scratches all over his arm. Tell me I wasn't crazy for being a wee bit concerned? Oh and believe me I know about Vicodin, every time I have to take some for my bladder or whatever other painful thing my body is going through, I get hooked for months and months. I'm clean now, but it's kind of an epidemic around here. I was just at the pharmacy the other day and there was a celebrated actor standing in line next to me. I looked down at the little prescription bag he was handed and of course, right there on the label, it had his name and the words Hydrocodone/Vicodin ES. He did not look like he was in any kind of physical pain. Poor guy. I so understand the lure of being able to take something that makes the world fade away for a time, and mutes both physical and psychic pain. Okay, I'm off. XOXOXOXO

Oh, wait a minute, I haven't heard how you took the news of Art's getting married? Are you still digesting this, or choosing not to judge or weigh in? Were you as shocked as I was? Are you trying to be supportive or just stepping away because it's his business?

your post was right below this one on my friends page. i love surreal coincidences. :)

My very first memory..
I was 2 years old and my father put me to bed to take a nap. I still remember every detail of the room vividly.

I heard a scratching noise coming from behind my toy box and I got up to investigate.

I was horrified to see a large finger form out of the wall and start wiggleing at me. It was shaped like a finger but still had the texture and color of the paint on the wall.. it scared me really bad and I went and hid under my covers.

I saw it so clearly, I know it was not a dream but I know it was not real.

I've decided that either children hallucinate for some reason, or maybe they see things from other dimensions.

that is freaking scary! that sucks as a first memory. :( all I can remember is my mom singing to me as she changed my diaper and put in bucket with a picture of a lamb on it. fortunately I did not see any scary fingers or I would have crawled back into the womb.

When I was about 10 I woke up and was thirsty. I turned on the light to go and drink some water, and then I saw there was a lady with long hair and burn marks on her face standing next to my bed. I was too scared to move or say anything. She then climbed over me to the other side and disappeared. I was too scared to go back to sleep and just sat up for the rest of the night. The next day I told my parents about it. We went to visit my sister later that day, and they told her about my 'dream', because she always use to see things. She turned pale, and called her husband. He saw the exact same thing the previous night and had also told her about it.

When I was little I used to see a chocolate brown wave on the upper wall and ceiling of my bedroom quite often. I remember watching it and giggling because it made me feel a little dizzy and disoriented.

I sometimes see silly things when I first wake up or just before I fall asleep that look very real until I turn my head - pajama pants walking towards me, spiders spinning webs, that sort of thing.

I have always chalked it up to my brain doing funny things while in a slightly different consciousness, since these things always happen early morning or late at night.

Some people believe that children, up until the age of 5 or so, are more open to alternate dimensions than adults. Because of the fontanelle babies are born with. I believe it.
One of the reasons I work in tiny scale is to recreate that feeling as a child of being in control over tiny realms of our creation. When we were children the world was huge and everyone had dominion over us--so we created small worlds with our toys and dolls, that we could feel in control of. I hope that comes through in the experience of seeing my work (especially in person when one can fully sense the scale).

When I was a little person I was convinced that people didn't look the same when you weren't looking at them. They turned into what they really "were" which typically was not a nice something. It took me a long time to get over that one. I also used to have a dream in which I would speak to a very large spider in the backyard.

I think the worst actually happened when I was older. In high school, around my junior year, I got this horrible feeling that someone/something was coming. I felt dread and worry for weeks. My mother told me it was just anxiety over college soon to start, etc, but I really felt it was something else. It was so bad that at school I used to run through the halls if I had to do an errand for a teacher or go to the bathroom because I was convinced that whatever it was would be waiting right around the corner. Sometimes I even thought I saw pieces of it.

Then, one night, I was nearly asleep - but definitely NOT asleep - and I looked over to the corner of my room. There, crouched was something I still refer to as Blackness. It had enormous diamond shaped yellow and black eyes, and the shape was something like cat and demon and man. It didn't look any happier about being there than I was to see it, and it opened its mouth - which was a hideous thing in of itself, but I'll spare you - and said, "Not quite what you expected, am I?"

I just remember screaming after that. And sleeping in the same bed as my mother for weeks. I told EVERYONE about it - believing somehow that spreading the fear would lessen mine and the chances of ever seeing it again. I haven't - not that real and not that close - thank God.

I too, have also seen ghosts. I lived in a haunted apartment for 2 years in college. It haunted the bathroom (I had a terrible time taking showers in there at night, which is why I switched to exclusively morning) and it was a burn victim. That was not pleasant, but no way near as terrifying as Blackness . . .but then, maybe it was just because I'd seen much worse that the ghost didn't bother me as much . . .

~*~

wow, im getting chills from these anecdotes. im at work in broad daylight and im scared!

i am in love with your post ana... and all the comments that follow.
i usually dont share my childhood experiences with people unless i know that they are going to believe me and be open to what im telling them. its just hard sometimes when i know what happened and i know what is real, and others tell me its bullshit. i guess as long as i know the truth, thats all that matters.

when i was 6 years old, my family was having christmas dinner at my house with all my aunts, uncles and cousins. i remember being upstairs playing with my stuffed cats in my bedroom. i then decided to leave my room and go back downstairs. as i went down the stairs, i stopped at the last 2 steps before the landing and the next set of stairs going the opposite direction. i stood on the step for awhile and then decided to jump - gravity must have not been working for that moment... because i was floating in the air. i remember moving my arms abit and finally i slowly lowered myself to the landing. i remember being so happy. i ran down the rest of the stairs and went right over to my mother. i told her exactly what just happened - that i was flying. she shrugged it off and didnt think anything of it. since she wasnt paying attention to me, i ran back up the stairs to the same spot and tried to "fly" again but it didnt work... i continually jumped and jumped but i couldnt do it. i remember this so clearly. even just to think about it right now, fills me with energy.

i also saw auras as a kid. my parents are very religious and would take me to church every sunday. they were in the choir so i sat with my other siblings on the benches. id stare at the people in front of me and colours would vibrate and float around their heads and bodies. it was intense but i loved the feeling it gave me. maybe thats one of the reasons why i didnt mind going to church, and still dont to this day.

ive never seen a ghost or spirit but believe that they come to visit us. sometimes, out of nowhere, i get the feeling that my grandparents are with me. id like to see a ghost or be given a sign - i wish for it almost. i think it would give me a calm feeling.

yes! yes! i posted about this a little earlier in the thread but i had similar experiences of 'flying' on my stairs at about that age, but i did it more than once...

I used to see nightmarish things out of the corner of my eye and if I lack sleep and spend too much time alone it returns. SO I keep rested amd keep folks around. It's no fun. Rows of cars full of dead bodies, my mother chopping up my fathers head (she was really chopping lettuce or slicing bread I can't remember which). No good.

well like at least one of the commenters here i have had waking nightmares which is when your body wakes during dreaming and you continue to dream and on top of that you can't move or make any sounds. sometimes when people get visited by aliens this is what's happening. i never had aliens per se but it happened with oversized ravens perched around my bed one time and another time my boyfriend was a witch and hovered over me casting a spell. i wouldn't concider this sleeping. i feel fully awake and i remember everything. and both times this happened it was in my 20's.

your brother's huh-huh's and darkmen actually really scare the crap out of me.

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